Questions for You

It’s been a crazy week and I’m getting around to posting rather late in the day. I thought I’d ask you all some questions and I’ll write the post explaining where all these questions came from this coming week.

  1. Do you think it’s rude to tell people you are uncomfortable with certain topics of conversation and expect them to avoid those topics?
  2. Do you have certain topics that are off-limits in mixed company but are ok in a single-gender environment? With all people?
  3. How would you explain to a more “Liberal-Thinker” what your reasons are for not wanting to talk about certain things? Can there ever be a “logical” explanation?
  4. Have you ever dealt with people who become blatantly rude or refuse to accommodate your personal concerns (that aren’t involving dress)?

3 responses to “Questions for You

  1. I don’t think it’s rude to tell people that you’re uncomfortable with certain topics of conversation. You just have to say it in a tactful fashion. Saying, “I’m really not comfortable talking about this. Could we change the topic?” is fine; putting your hands over your ears and singing “lalalala” at the top of your lungs isn’t. 😉

    I don’t have topics that I am only okay talking about with other women, but I also have a rather odd set of topics that I don’t like to talk about with anybody. I tend to be fine talking about things in public that most people seem to keep private – and vice versa.

    Honestly, I don’t think you need to explain your reasons to anyone. “Logical” is not necessary, either. And explaining your reasons is going to be talking about something you don’t want to talk about, so why put yourself through that? It’s not rude to be assertive about your rights in something like this. If someone asks why you don’t want to talk about it, just say, “I’m not comfortable talking about this with you. Please respect that.”

    I have had to shut down conversation with someone who wouldn’t stop going on about something I had said I didn’t want to talk about with him (because we didn’t agree, and I could see that we were never going to, and he was being overly confrontational about it – and had already insulted me about something else, so I was less inclined to give him time). In that situation, I simply said, “I’m not going to talk about this with you anymore,” and turned away to talk to someone else. Sometimes, that’s what you have to do (if nothing else is working).

  2. laurastempmorlok

    1) I don’t think it’s rude as long as it’s not done rudely. Not respecting someone’s wishes to end a topic is rude. In fact, to be completely Miss Manners about it, bringing up indelicate topics is rude.
    2) No, none that are based on gender. In fact, some very private matters I’m more comfortable discussing with guy friends than fellow females. BUT I do divide topics on the person with whom I’m speaking (in other words, level of familiarity, and age do play roles, but not so much gender). My Muslim friends, however, are very much gender divided on topics.
    3) I consider myself a very “liberal thinker” and I find it perfectly logical in and of itself that something makes someone uncomfortable. I don’t have to have the same response to the topic to understand that they do.
    4) Of course. I tend to then go seek out a sympathetic person to help me feel better!

  3. Hi Ladies!

    I’ll respond to your comments in a couple days but thought I should let you know the post is up now!

    Thanks for the comments, I promise to write soon.

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