Husband Says, “Eh?!”

The question was asked: “What does your husband think of you covering yourself?”

I was married for 3.5 years before I finally started covering my hair in public all the time. We have never had a huge conversation about. We have never had a big argument about it. It seems we’re not much for talking. That’s only partly right.

I talked about it quite a bit with my now Godmother in terms of theology and personal piety. As my husband could be categorised as “Non-Practicing,” theology wasn’t the first thing I thought he’d want to discuss. So my not-yet- Godmother, YN, during our weekly chats about all thing, would also talk about me wanting to cover my hair and all my anxieties surrounding it.

I made my decision and sat on if for a few days. I finally mustered some shred of courage. “Husband,” says I, “I am going to cover my hair . . . . all the time.”

Silence.

“What do you think?”

“mmph”

Yup that’s right. His entire response, at the time, was pretty much a half-hearted grunt. It was somewhat disappointing to not get some questions or an, “Ok, whatever you want.” The benefit was I knew he was aware, and I didn’t have to talk a lot about it when I was still feeling extremely awkward about the whole deal.

The only other comment he made, I believe within the first year, was referring to my covering as my “hair-shame.” I let that one slide. I wasn’t going to deal with it. I think I said something about it not being shame or I liked my hair but I wasn’t going to get into an argument. I was a bit hurt but I knew he was making an off-handed comment because he was confused.

As time has passed he has come to recognise that covering my head is as much a part of me being dressed as puting on a shirt. If he brings friend’s home unexpectedly he will open the front door and call in to make sure I’m dressed. He might not get it, no matter how much I tell him, but he has developed a respect for it.

I know he appreciates that I’m not running around with it all hanging out. He has made comments about scantily clad women being unattractive. Husband is confused by some of his friends finding the amorous and under-dressed as highly desirable.

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